


Bleeding flowers

by btxtluver4



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23344936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/btxtluver4/pseuds/btxtluver4
Summary: Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings, or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Kang Taehyun
Comments: 18
Kudos: 59





	1. Rose

Beomgyu found flowers beautiful, they were one of the simplest pleasures of life, innocent and pretty, just like his Taehyun. So even when he began to throw them up, he couldn’t bring himself to hate them, they reminded him of Taehyun, beautiful and trampled by some but still growing despite the harshness it faced. 

However, Taehyun didn’t like him back.

And that’s where it all started.

Taehyun’s laughter were music to Beomgyu’s ears; he could probably make a song out of the others laughter alone, spitting phrases of how much his heart beats for him and him alone. Taehyun’s smiles were bright and genuine, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and his lips stretched with a melody that made Beomgyu find his lips quirking up and soon he would be laughing along with him which made the other members dumbfounded.

Beomgyu always thought that Taehyun looked like the sun; his energetic aura lighting up the minute he stepped in their shared dorm but one time he looked at the sun he was squinting angrily, and he immediately shielded his eyes away from the sun. He was confused, he never looked at Taehyun harshly, so he concluded that night that Taehyun was never the sun.

He remembered staring at the moon at night, and his features softened, his eyes trying to trace every edges of the moon and he knew he looked at Taehyun that way. He looked at Taehyun as if he was music- and Taehyun was indeed his music.

It wasn’t long before Beomgyu had started developing feelings for the younger, his heart skipped a beat when Taehyun smiled at him, his stomach would explode into thousands of butterflies whenever Taehyun touched him and he felt his cheeks brighten when Taehyun complimented or encouraged him.

At first, he was afraid of these feelings, what if Taehyun never felt the same way? What if Taehyun just considers him as his elder hyung and nothing else? Beomgyu wasn’t even sure of his sexuality, it made him feel nervous and anxiousness to the point that he was in love with Taehyun.

But there’s a consequence of his unrequited love. There has always been.

It started with Beomgyu coughing. “what the fuck?” the first time it happened, he was confused and covered his mouth and discovered roses shooting into his palm. That lasted a couple of days before the vomiting started.

It was daisies this time, serene and white, they flew to every corner of the bathroom floor instead of floating in his toilet. He hoped it was some long ass dream, as he knew the Hanahaki disease would kill him sooner or later, because Taehyun doesn’t have feelings for him.

It has been happening to him for over a week already and not a soul has been told about this since Beomgyu tend to keep things from others so they wouldn’t have to worry about him.

Beomgyu actually had did a small research right after the first time it had occurred, and the only solution of it was surgery; where they remove the growing flower from your chest, but it had some side effects and Beomgyu didn’t like the side effects. The side effects were, once the flower has been totally removed away from your chest, the feelings that you harbour for the person gets completely disappeared from you.

And Beomgyu didn’t like the idea of them taking away he flame in his heart. The flame or his burning feelings towards Taehyun was the only inspiration of him to create music. He refused; he will not change his mind even if a day comes and everyone knows and even if they beg, Beomgyu would say no and he would say it again if he had to.

It was probably three in the morning, and the other members were still asleep. Splashing his face with cold water, Beomgyu shuffled out of the bathroom quietly. He saw Soobin’s door was ajar and Beomgyu could see a mop of pink hair popping out of the covers on the bed.

Beomgyu quickly closed Soobin’s door, careful enough not to wake up the leader. He made his way to the kitchen, his eyes threatening to shut but his throat told a different thing. His throat was still raw from all the coughing and the pain in his chest was still not subsiding. Looking for a drink, Beomgyu switched on the light in the kitchen.

A small gasp made Beomgyu jump and turn around to the owner of the voice and he was surprised to see Taehyun by the sink, a cup in hand and lips still hovering over the cup. Taehyun breathed a sigh of relief knowing that it was Beomgyu (he wasn’t thinking of a burglar in such an ungodly hour isn’t it?) and he was in a dishevelled state, same as Beomgyu with orange hair sticking up here and there and face naked and full of sleep. Beomgyu’s throat began to itch as he tried to fight back the urge of a cough threatening to make its way up from his throat, but losing in the fight, he coughed roughly. 

In panic, Beomgyu quickly covered his mouth as he felt a silky white petal made its way to his unclasped hand over his mouth. He maintained this position while he saw Taehyun hurrying, in panic to fill a glass of water and make his way in front of Beomgyu to offer him the water. Beomgyu took it with grateful eyes and he hid his hand holding the flower petal behind his back. 

A sudden idea came into Beomgyu’s mind. He peeked up from the rim of the glass and called out in his scratchy voice, “Do you wanna see some magic, Taehyunnie?”

Taehyun smiled, slightly chuckling which was magic to Beomgyu’s ears. “Yeah, since I’m the one always showing you guys magic, it won’t hurt to see one from you, I guess”.

Beomgyu smiled and he slowly held out his closed hand and opened it before Taehyun. A single daisy petal sat on his hand and Beomgyu looked up to study Taehyun’s features. Taehyun let out a laugh, amusing Beomgyu in the process.

“Nice, hyung”, Taehyun praised, eyes turning into crescents as he smiled. “What flower or petal is that though? It’s really pretty”.

“Uh, it’s a daisy”, Beomgyu mumbled, freezing when Taehyun touched his hand to study the petal closely.

“Can I keep it with me? Its so pretty”, Taehyun smiled up at Beomgyu.

“You want this? Its just a petal Hyunnie, not a flower”, Beomgyu asked in confusion.

Taehyun grinned, taking the petal before Beomgyu throws it away. “Exactly, it’s a petal which my precious hyung magically conjured up in the middle of the night”, pausing, he added “what the hell are you doing this early?”

Beomgyu answered sheepishly, “I, uh, couldn’t sleep so I came here to drink something”.

“ooh”, Taehyun nudged Beomgyu, catching the elder off guard as he stepped away from him. Before he could open his mouth to cuss at him, Taehyun grinned and he stopped. He looked up in confusion as Taehyun started rummaging through the cabinets, looking for something.

“Did you just push me?” Beomgyu asked in disbelief. “And what are you trying to do?”

“I’m trying to make you some coffee, you fool”, Taehyun replied as he grabbed Beomgyu’s cup and gave him a smile over his shoulder. “Go sit on the table hyung, let me take care of you”.

“Alright, but I prefer to sit on the chair, not on the table like Hyuka, thank you very much”, Beomgyu muttered which earned a snort from the younger.

Beomgyu made his way out of the kitchen to the dining room, which was basically just in front of the kitchen and made himself comfortable on one of the chairs. He watched as Taehyun flew around the kitchen in his striped shirt and loose pyjamas, a gift by Hueningkai on his seventeenth birthday. He propped his elbow on the table and rested his face on his hands, studying Taehyun as the younger was busy making coffee for him.

It was not the first time Beomgyu spent ungodly hours with Taehyun, drinking coffee and discussing things that only made sense between them. Beomgyu was more open and thoughtful during those hours and that’s the reason why they ended up mostly on the couch, curled up against each other because that’s how it worked; Beomgyu talked and Taehyun listened. Although it was very uncharacteristic of Beomgyu to be this talkative but around Taehyun he felt comfortable.

“Beomie hyung”, Taehyun appeared in his line of vision cutting off his thinking process. “Your coffee”.

Beomgyu nodded, taking the cup from Taehyun’s hands and blowing on the liquid before taking a sip. Its good, he thought, setting it down. Taehyun was already sipping his own coffee, sitting across him and that’s when Beomgyu found himself ranting.

But this time he talked about flowers.

It took a long time for Beomgyu to realise that the sun was up. A yawn escaped his lips as he looked down on the table only to find Taehyun sleeping with his arms folded and head resting on them; a peaceful look on his face.

Beomgyu reached out to card his fingers through Taehyun’s hair, smiling to himself as he fished out his phone from his pyjama’s pocket. With no shame whatsoever, Beomgyu snapped a few pictures of Taehyun, smile creeping up to his lips as he put down his phone.

Then he coughed. Beomgyu covered his mouth with both hands and coughed roughly, tears gathering in his eyes, and he was lucky that Taehyun was a heavy sleeper. The squeezing in his chest had him coughing even more and Beomgyu felt the petals climb through his throat and fall onto his hands.

There were too many, and Beomgyu had tears streaming down his face. The petals piled up on the table, onto the floor and some onto Taehyun’s hair, making him look like an angel who just ascended form heaven. The coughing stopped and Beomgyu was panting, his throat on fire and chest painful. He picked up the petals, it was deep red this time (camellia, he thought) and it reminded him of blood. 

He laughed bitterly, then winced, Beomgyu rubbed his face and looked at Taehyun again. His heart ached. If only Taehyun loved him back, he wouldn’t have to be breathing flowers right now, but he wouldn’t blame Taehyun. After all it was Beomgyu who fell in love with Taehyun, not the other way around.

With a sad smile, Beomgyu landed a kiss on the head of the younger as he took in the scent of citrus before pulling away and draping him with a blanket left on the couch. With one last look, he left Taehyun with camellia petals surrounding him. Soobin would be furious tomorrow, Beomgyu thought, looking at the mess.

Taehyun would wake up and find himself sleeping between a pile of deep red petals littered around him, and he would have no idea that it was Beomgyu’s unrequited love for him.


	2. Daisy

Days turned into weeks, and Beomgyu wasn’t getting better. In fact, he was getting worse, and by worse he had been vomiting petals for almost an hour. Tears were streaming down his face as he tried hard to breathe, but with more petals coming out of his mouth there was no room to breathe. The room was quickly filled with the scent of camellia and he was getting sick of the smell.

Eventually, it stopped and Beomgyu was laying on the floor, with hundreds of deep red petals surrounding him. His cheeks were dry from the tears he shed, and his lungs were on fire. It took him a moment to breathe because of how painful it was for his lungs to contract.

He blinked at the dim light of the workshop. He was completely unaware of the time, but he fished his phone out with his trembling fingers and sent a quick text to Hueningkai saying he was in the workshop.

Beomgyu’s breath hitched; he felt another wave of petals coming in, tears started to burn in his eyes but this time he refused the urge to cry as another forty minutes of coughing up petals continued.

His body felt weak as ever, and he just wanted to close his eyes and stay like that forever, to never waking up again. He wanted to sleep with Taehyun’s hands wrapped around him and lips pressing on his own, but sadly this was the price to pay for his unrequited love.

He wouldn’t take the surgery, not at all. He didn’t want them to take away the love he has built up in his heart for so long. He didn’t want to forget the way his heart skipped a beat whenever Taehyun laughed, the way his fingers twitched to touch Taehyun, or the way he thinks of the other, beautiful.

It was too cruel.

And Beomgyu wouldn’t take the option, he would wait since the feeling he was harbouring for the younger were something others can’t take away easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! I'm sorry I couldn't update sooner, but here ya go! chapter 2!  
> do tell me how's the chapter in the comments and leave kudos if you like it!  
> bye lovelies!


	3. Camellia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! I'm so sorry I couldn't post chapters as my exams were going on, but it's over!!! Now I'm gonna post more and I'm planning to complete this by next week! Feel free to comment and give kudos if you like the work!!! ❤️

Hueningkai was the first one to find him.

He found Beomgyu when he came home one night and locked himself in the bathroom, lying on the floor with petals surrounding him, there were pink petals everywhere- on the sink, on the tub, just everywhere. Beomgyu watched as the younger entered the bathroom and jumped, clamping his hand on his mouth and stuttering a low muffled hyung before approaching him.

Beomgyu stared blankly at the ceiling when Hueningkai knelt down next to him, hands trembling as he picked up the petals looking at Beomgyu in confusion. The day had finally come, and Beomgyu was relieved that it was no other than Hueningkai who had found him.

“Don’t tell anyone”, Beomgyu hissed, voice raw and raspy. It hurt to speak but Beomgyu had to. “Promise me, Hyuka”.

Hueningkai furrowed his eyebrows tightly and pressed his lips in a thin line when Beomgyu coughed roughly. He held the older tightly and nodded. “Okay, hyung. I’ll-I’ll carry you okay? Everyone went out except for me so I think its okay”.

With a shaky breath, Hueningkai hooked his other arm under Beomgyu’s legs and carefully stood up. Beomgyu wrapped an arm around Hyuka’s shoulder and he groaned, as he felt the sudden shift of gravity. He was feeling lightheaded and nauseous; he was surprised he hadn’t emptied his stomach after an hour of puking pink petals.

Hueningkai walked inside his and Taehyun’s shared room, laying the older on the bed and leaving the room only to comeback after sometime with a glass of water. Beomgyu accepted it, trembling as he brought the rim of the glass to his chapped lips. Hueningkai watched the elder helplessly.

The older was looking pale as ever, a thin layer of sweat glistening on his forehead and bags under his eyes. Hueningkai wondered how long it has been since the elder’s disease started.

After Beomgyu drank all of the water, Hueningkai grabbed it in fear of slipping from the elder’s hand and shattering, then he placed it on the side desk. Silence fell upon the two, and honestly, Hueningkai just wanted to sleep, but he thought of the words he would say to Beomgyu.

After a lot of contemplating whether to ask or not, Hueningkai finally breathed, meeting Beomgyu’s eyes. “Who is it?”

Beomgyu was silent for a moment, then chuckled weakly. “So, you know about the disease huh?”

“My friend had it”, Hueningkai explained. “And he-he went under surgery to stop the flowers from growing from his lungs, but hyung, who is it?”

Beomgyu’s lower lip trembled, and he looked away from Hueningkai, setting his eyes on the printed blanket before looking up at the ceiling. “Taehyun”.

Hueningkai nodded, then told Beomgyu to sleep, but not before promising the older that he wouldn’t speak a word to others. Beomgyu smiled, sinking down into Hueningkai bed to invite the deep slumber that was waiting for him.

Hueningkai stood there for a minute, not knowing what to do. Then he remembered, the petals in the bathroom, making him glance at the bedside clock quickly. The others would be home in forty minutes, and he bolted out of the room, grabbed two trash bags, and cleaned up the petals in the bathroom quickly.

It was probably the quickest thing he had done in his whole life, but it was for his hyung. Poor Beomgyu was suffering from an unrequited love and in pain while everyone was oblivious about it. Hueningkai sighed, wiping the sweat off his forehead while looking at the trash bags in his hand. All he had to do was to throw it away, and he exactly got twenty minutes to do it.

After throwing out the trash bags and checking up on Beomgyu once again, he went to the bathroom to make sure that nothing was left behind that might’ve looked suspicious. Hueningkai settled on the couch, running a hand through his hair and letting a sigh escape his lips.

The petals were not exactly like the ones Taehyun had told everyone about after Beomgyu had disappeared, but it was pink in colour, much like the previous step of Beomgyu puking blood out of his mouth if the disease became worse. And Hueningkai honestly had no clue what to do except sleep on the couch until Yeonjun woke him up.


	4. Hydrangea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! since exams are over, here you go another chapter! and its the second last chapter of this story, the last one will take time because I really need to think of how to end.  
> thank you for reading and please give kudos if you like this chapter! bye!

After Beomgyu’s secret was revealed to Hueningkai, the younger had been extra caring for Beomgyu the following days, often giving Beomgyu some food and offering a bottle of water a couple of times, and he didn’t miss a single opportunity to ask Beomgyu if he was feeling okay.

Beomgyu always nodded his head and smiled, shooting a small smile towards the younger as an appreciation of his concern towards him. He didn’t mind when Hueningkai sneaked into his and Soobin’s shared bedroom to check if he was vomiting petals or not; it actually felt good knowing someone cared about him.

But Beomgyu wished it was Taehyun who was taking care of him; it was Taehyun who was holding him at night when he was vomiting petals in the bathroom, not Hueningkai.

Beomgyu wondered how it would feel like if Taehyun had decided to reciprocate the feeling towards him; would he feel better? Would he not spend every hour feeling anxious at the thought what if I puke in front of everyone? Would he feel happy and fired up to start the day knowing that Taehyun loves him? Beomgyu had to pause and shake his head because no, Taehyun just considered him as his hyung and nothing more.

_Are you sure about that?_ His conscience had asked him one afternoon, when he was alone in the dining room, trying to block out the noises that came from the living room while he was busy eating his cereal alone.

_Well, no, but I can feel it in my stomach._

_What if he likes you too?_

Beomgyu had gritted his teeth, annoyingly stabbing his bowl of cornflakes with his spoon in annoyance. _Then he has to prove more than that because I just don’t ‘like’ him, I’m in love with him. Now shut up and let me focus eating._

Everyday had become a guessing game for Beomgyu. He had to constantly fight with his mind about Taehyun and his feelings and this stupid Hanahaki disease was doing him no good. He also had to deal with the constant questions of Soobin and Yeonjun about _are you okay? Is there something wrong? Are you getting enough sleep?_ Because Hueningkai’s concern had aroused their suspicions.

Beomgyu assured them that _yeah, I’m feeling like yesterday, which is okay._ Taehyun was acting weird too, that is when Beomgyu was in the same room as him, he would immediately leave with a stuttering excuse that he was too obviously a lie. When Beomgyu casually tried to attempt to start a conversation with him he would point his feet away from his direction and always looking at the floor, the sign he was uncomfortable and was eager to leave.

It was painful for Beomgyu that okay, maybe Taehyun has changed his mind or something and thinks that Beomgyu was a freak or something because of how frequent the times that he excused himself to do some business in the bathroom (he was just vomiting petals, really). It was driving him crazy and Beomgyu just wanted to talk to someone that wasn’t Hueningkai, he wanted to take back all the ungodly hours to see Taehyun’s sleepy smile again.

Beomgyu missed Taehyun- missed his old buddy that he used to spend nights with to talk about anything, everything, and nothing at all. Missing someone felt so miserable that Beomgyu had spent his whole day in his bed, screaming into his pillow which was very uncharacteristic of him to do, but what were you supposed to do when the most special person in your life decides to ignore you like a plague? Beomgyu was confused.

He became weaker with each passing day, often getting one of Yeonjun’s lectures about how he should eat and sleep properly. Beomgyu rolled his eyes; Yeonjun was too much to handle when he started nagging, and being the eldest brother to four young adults had made him even more caring towards them. He didn’t mind it whatsoever, but sometimes it was just too annoying.

Beomgyu sighed, stared at the ceiling, with his fingers interlocked behind his own hand as he shifted position on the bed. He glanced at Soobin’s empty bed beside him, then groaned.

With wobbly knees, Beomgyu stood up from his bed and exited the room, shivering when his bare feet touched the cold floor. He stuffed his hands within his hoodie’s pockets and he made his way down the hall, clicking his tongue when he heard hollering coming from Hueningkai’s bedroom.

The first thing he did arriving in the kitchen was to get himself a cup of coffee to tame his burning throat. While he made his coffee, he was greatly disturbed at how quiet the house was; there was no Yeonjun yelling at the younger members and Taehyun whining about his philosophy shit and Soobin there to make confused faces at Taehyun. He stayed in the kitchen for the moment, leaning at one of the counters and sipping his coffee, but he didn’t realise he wasn’t alone anymore.

“Hyung?”

Hueningkai was there when Beomgyu turned his head to the side, holding a gallon of grape juice and closing the refrigerator door which Beomgyu didn’t hear opening. The younger offered a smile.

“What are you doing here?” Hueningkai asked as he approached Beomgyu.

“Taking a shit”, Beomgyu muttered with his lips hovering on the rim of the cup.

Hueningkai leaned in, confusion etched on his face. “What was that? I didn’t hear you hyung”.

“I said drinking this shit”, Beomgyu said loudly this time. He raised an eyebrow at Hueningkai. “What about you, huh?”

Hueningkai blinked, then moved back from Beomgyu, a grin finding way onto his lips. “I was playing video games with Soobin hyung. By the way hyung, did those petals decide to flood?”

Beomgyu nodded, giving the younger a sideway glance before speaking again. “Yeah, it got worse though. You think you could clean up the mess inside my room?”

“Yeah, sure hyung”, Hueningkai answered immediately and Beomgyu gave him one of his rare, sparkling smiles. Then the atmosphere changed into a more serious one.

“Hyung, don’t you think- “Hueningkai hesitated. “-don’t you think you should take the surgery?”

Hueningkai never brought the subject up- never in the days that has passed to being by his side, and it kind of caught Beomgyu off guard. Slowly he put his cup of coffee down on the counter and began to speak.

“Its not easy Hyuka”, Beomgyu answered quietly. “I love Taehyun, an I don’t want to forget that”.

“But you’re getting worse hyung!” Hueningkai argued, his accent getting stronger, but kept his voice low and steady. “What if one day you actually die from that?”

Beomgyu winced, rubbing his chest in small circles. “Don’t care Hyuka, just don’t tell anyone- “

“Tell what?” a familiar voice suddenly spoke, making the two jump up in surprise. Taehyun raised an eyebrow at them, crossing his arms. “And who’s going to die?”

Hueningkai gaped at Taehyun, completely frozen, and Beomgyu was panicking inside. _How much did he hear?_ Beomgyu gulped, grabbing Hueningkai’s wrist in alarm. The younger was about to speak when Beomgyu felt his world spinning and lungs contracting, and then _bam!_

“HYUNG!”

“Beomgyu!?”

Beomgyu grabbed the counter as his knees buckled underneath him and he fell, petals already flowing out of his lips. The petals were red and Beomgyu shut his eyes and tried to cover his mouth because _dammit Taehyun’s here._

“CALL THE AMBULANCE!”, Hueningkai yelled at Taehyun, who jumped and quickly pulled out his phone. Hueningkai knelt beside Beomgyu, hooking his arms under his neck and legs carrying him.

Beomgyu grasped at Hueningkai’s shirt, twisting it as he tried to speak. “You promised”, he choked, coughing up more petals as Hueningkai dropped him on the couch.

“I can’t watch you suffer anymore, hyung”, Hueningkai whispered shakily.

Beomgyu squeezed his eye shut again, feeling some liquid trickling down his lips. He tried to focus on Taehyun’s voice speaking in a hurried tone in the background and he tried to ignore the hand gripping his. The last thing he remembered were voices speaking in panic and sirens going off loudly, and then he blacked out.


	5. Daffodil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! only one chapter left till the ending! I hope you liked the turn of events and as I said, I love beomgyu and taehyun too much to kill them off.  
> im actually thinking of giving them two endings, both are happy. tell me in the comments if you want both the endings, I shall start to think and write about it then. till then, feel free to comment and give kudos if you like my work. Bye!

White ceiling was the first thing that Beomgyu saw when he first opened his eyes, then squinted his eyes at the bright lights that glared back at him. His head throbbed in slight pain and his ears were ringing, and he couldn’t help the groan escape his lips.

Where was he? Last thing he remembers were flashes of red and blue, and Taehyun’s hurried, panicked voice over the phone- that’s right, where’s Taehyun?

Beomgyu tried to sit up, but suddenly he felt a hand on his chest, stopping him from sitting up. His eyes flickered to the side and he saw Hueningkai sitting on the stool beside him. Relief washed over him when he saw the younger give a small smile.

“Don’t sit up hyung”, Hueningkai told him, retreating his hand back. Beomgyu noticed he was peeling an apple. “Rest, you’ve been passed out for one day and a half.”

This made Beomgyu frown as his head hit the pillow. “Really?” he croaked out, voice rough and scratchy. “Where am I?”

Hueningkai smiled at him, placing down the knife and the sliced apples on the table next to the bed. “I think you know where we are”, he murmured.

_Oh._ Beomgyu painfully swallowed the lump down his throat. “Where are the others then?”

“Yeonjun hyung is outside with Soobin hyung and Taehyun. I think they’re eating at the hospital cafeteria. Its past eleven o’clock in the morning by the way”, Hueningkai replied, tiredly rubbing his hands against his face.

Beomgyu’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of Taehyun being here, and somehow it brought him to tears. Hueningkai just blinked at him, before reaching out to softly squeeze his arm, which made him more emotional. Beomgyu took a shaky breath, blinking back the shaky breath that almost threatened to fall and closed his eyes. He could feel Hueningkai watching him, and he felt sorry that the kid had to take care of him in the first place.

He tried to imagine Hueningkai, and the black bags under his eyes and his tousled hair during the night and staying by Beomgyu’s side, and it painfully tugged on his heart when he thought about others. Tired and wide awake just for him.

“I’m sorry”, he mumbled, peeking at Hueningkai, who already placed his elbow on the edge of the bed and chin resting on his arm. “I’m sorry because I’m stupid and in love”.

Hueningkai shook his head, a small hum rumbling in his chest that relaxed Beomgyu’s shoulders. “Hyung, there’s nothing to be sorry for being in love, and you’re not stupid. You’re not stupid for falling in love, I guess”, he chuckled and Beomgyu imagined he heard a small snort. “Blame the disease, but never blame your feelings, hyung”.

Beomgyu nodded in agreement. “Stupid disease”, he grumbled, making Hueningkai roll his eyes and laugh softly.

Both of them were startled when the door swung open, Yeonjun stepping inside and raising an eyebrow when he saw Beomgyu already awake, followed by Soobin and Taehyun, who were chatting in low voices that somehow made Beomgyu furrow his eyebrows together.

“I see that you’re awake”, Yeonjun said, walking over to the bed, with one hand tucked inside his grey hoodie and the other holding a small, white plastic bag. “How you feeling?”

His world seemed to stop when Taehyun turned his head away from Soobin and made eye contact with Beomgyu, never failing to knock the air out of his lungs, but his heart ached when he saw Taehyun in the same state as Hueningkai, tired eyes with black bags and slouched posture- almost everything seemed worse.

Beomgyu wondered how he looked like right now. _Maybe even worse than them?_

Beomgyu averted his eyes back to Yeonjun, the tips of his ears reddening. “I’m fine”, he replied quietly. “I guess”.

Yeonjun sighed, sitting down on the vacant chair opposite to Hueningkai. “You’re not- “he inhaled sharply. “-you’re not going to take it, huh?”

Soobin and Taehyun had settled on the small couch in the corner of the room, now gone silent as they watch the three.

Beomgyu pursed his lips, eyes blinking. “No”.

“I figured”, Yeonjun chuckled, running a hand through his hair, silence, then – “can I talk to Taehyun?”

Soobin and Hueningkai were already standing up as Yeonjun paused and looked at him, then nodded, standing up as well. “Talk it over, kids”, he told them before he closed the door behind his back.

The ringing in Beomgyu’s ear went back and his vision blurred as Taehyun approached the bed and sat down on the chair where Hueningkai was sitting. His heart was beating loudly as Taehyun reached out and intertwined their fingers together, eyes trained on the joined hands that squeezed Beomgyu’s heart.

“Hueningkai already told you, right?” Beomgyu cleared his throat. Taehyun nodded.

“I like you”, Beomgyu stated after a few minutes of silence, then paused. “No, I _love_ you. I’m _in love_ with you for a long time now. I’m sorry that you had to figure it out the hard way”.

Taehyun bit his lip, looking up at him. “I know”, he murmured, gently squeezing Beomgyu’s hand. “I’m sorry too”.

“For what?”

“That it took me a long time to figure it out”, Taehyun laughed softly. “I was completely clueless the whole time you were loving me all the time and dealing with this stupid disease”.

Beomgyu nodded, squeezing Taehyun’s hand when it loosened. “Then we’re both stupid, then”, he smiled.

Taehyun laughed. “I guess we are”, then he paused. “Hyung, can you- can you wait for me”?

Eyes widened, Beomgyu shook his head. “No, I don’t want to force you to love me, that would feel terrible”.

Taehyun snorted, rolling his eyes. “I wasn’t even finished yet, this hyung, really”, he smiled when Beomgyu frowned at him. _“I want to learn to love you too”._

It took him a moment to register Taehyun’s words before a small oh escaped his lips. Before he knew it, he was blushing from head to toe, his heart thundering loudly in his chest. Taehyun ducked his head away, but Beomgyu could see tips of his ears reddening, and his heart fluttered and sighed.

“That would be- that would be amazing”, he breathed, squeezing Taehyun’s clammy hands tightly. “Really”.

Taehyun smiled, cheeks dusted with pink as he shyly looked down on their hands. Beomgyu felt like a twelve-year-old, squealing inside as no words were exchanged between them anymore, settling into a more comfortable silence.

The pain stroke Beomgyu’s chest, making him gasp as the other hand clutched his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut as he coughed roughly, hands no longer intertwined with Taehyun’s but instead placed on his mouth. Taehyun stood up in panic, knocking the chair down in the process as he shouted Yeonjun’s name and Beomgyu’s name.

Beomgyu was sitting up and his lungs were on fire once Yeonjun, Soobin, Hueningkai and a doctor stumbled inside, still coughing roughly until his vision whitened and Taehyun was shaking with Hueningkai to hold him back from pouncing on the elder. The doctor was trying to inject something to Beomgyu, but stopped when Beomgyu stiffened, hands still over his mouth and eyes locking with Yeonjun.

Then he removed his hand, revealing a full flower of a pink camellia stuck between his lips. Soobin and Hueningkai gasped in horror while Yeonjun and Taehyun stared wide eyed.

“Ah, wow”, the doctor commented, slowly placing down the injection. “Mr Choi, that’s the last of the disease.”

“W-what do you mean?” Yeonjun asked quickly, gripping onto Soobin for dear life as Beomgyu was trying to look down on the flower in his lips.

“It means the disease was gone”, the doctor explained, and raised an eyebrow at Beomgyu with a small smile. “I assume that the person you liked likes you back?”

Beomgyu glanced at Taehyun, who was giving him a small, weak smile. He opened his mouth and let the flower fall onto his lap. And although warmth flooded in his chest, he couldn’t stop the words from getting out from his mouth.

_“You little shit”_.


	6. Peony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! I have got NO work to do so here's a new update. I was thinking of updating a new story, it has been sitting in my drafts for too long but from next week my exams are starting again so I'm gonna finish this story asap and try updating the story as soon as my exams are over.  
> tell me in the comments if you love the story and what could've been improved! Oh and alternate ending coming soon ;)

A good five minutes had passed ever since Beomgyu arrived in front of a bubble tea shop, tapping his shoe on the pavement impatiently as he looked around while searching for a certain person in form of sunshine and rainbows. The thought of Taehyun made his heart flutter, and he leaned against the brick wall, looking down on his shoes with his mouth buried in his scarf to hide the smile forming in his lips.

It was still unreal- everything was still so unreal. Several weeks ago, he was coughing up petals, suffering the consequences of unrequited love. Two weeks ago, he was finally charged in the hospital. One week ago, Taehyun had been extremely more caring and paid more attention when Beomgyu was discharged from the hospital. And two days ago, Taehyun had asked him out on a date, all shy and flustered as he embarrassingly scratched the back of his neck.

With the tips of his ears burning, Beomgyu had said yes- of course he would say yes, so here he was, dressed in some of the clothes Hueningkai picked out for him from his closet and fingers slightly trembling as it gripped tightly around his phone. His heart was in his throat and beating wildly in his chest as seconds passed by, anxious and excited as he waited for Taehyun.

And finally, Taehyun appeared among the crowd, and Beomgyu’s breath caught in his throat when Taehyun threw him a bright smile as soon as he saw him.

“Hyung!”, Taehyun called, walking quickly towards him, a little out of breath but the smile on his face never left his face as he unexpectedly wrapped his arms around Beomgyu.

Beomgyu froze, not knowing what to do, but he wrapped his arms around Taehyun anyway, awkwardly patting his back, Taehyun smelled good- had always been, and Beomgyu’s eyes fluttered close when he felt a brush of lips graze against his cheek when Taehyun pulled away from him to beam at him.

“Should we go?”

Beomgyu nodded, lips quirking up into a small smile. “Yeah, we should”, he agreed, tucking his cold hands inside his jacket pockets. “My legs were freezing waiting for you”.

Taehyun laughed softly, and Beomgyu somehow found it relaxing. He walked close to Beomgyu, eyes ahead of them and a certain rhythm in his pace. “Sorry”, he glanced at Beomgyu to give an apologetic smile. “Ran on a cat down the studio, gladly Soobin hyung was walking from his small trip to the grocery store. So, I handed the cat to him and sprinted away”.

Beomgyu snorted. “It’s okay, I guess. Good thing you didn’t bring the cat with you, though. Cats hate my guts.”

Taehyun laughed once again, the nodded in agreement. The two continued to walk down the busy streets of Seoul, a comfortable silence falling between them. It still felt so unreal- to finally have the boy he loves walking beside him and breathing the same air as him. Something in him wanted time to slow down- too afraid for this moment to pass and remain a memory in the back of his head that he would recall when wrinkles appeared on his forehead.

Beomgyu stole a glance at Taehyun, admiring the sharp slope of his nose, his sharp jawline, his golden skin, high cheekbones and orange hair shuffling through the wind. The butterflies in his stomach were already gone, replaced by a buzzing feeling coursing through his veins and heart fluttering at the softest action Taehyun makes. 

He was blessed with this sunshine walking beside him, and he was truly glad he was in love with him.

“Hey, hyung”, Taehyun suddenly said, snapping Beomgyu from his train of thoughts and pulling him back to reality.

Beomgyu hummed. “Yeah?”

There was a small silence that lingered before Taehyun opened his mouth. “Can we- can we hold hands?”

Taehyun was shyly glancing at him, even clearing his throat out of embarrassment, and Beomgyu’s stomach did endless of flips.

Beomgyu chuckled, nodding and pulling his hand from his jacket pockets. “Sure, yeah. Okay.”

Taehyun eased a bit, still red as his pinkie finger shyly intertwining with Beomgyu’s until their hands were tightly clasped together. It made Beomgyu somewhat shy too, as he tucked his chin down his scarf, and Taehyun had this happy smile as he lightly swung their joined hands.

Beomgyu smiled as he pressed himself close to Taehyun as a cold gust of wind suddenly blew their direction, humming once Taehyun rambled about this day in their studio while their joined hands still swinging between them as they walked down the streets of Seoul, hearts in sync with their footsteps.

He exhaled, relieved to finally be able to breathe again without petals clogging up his throat, and Taehyun gave him a sweet smile, squeezing his hands as they trudged down the street together while being lost in each other’s warmth and stomachs rumbling in hunger.


	7. Cyclamen (alternate ending)

There was an uncomfortable silence when Yeonjun and Soobin left the room, mentioning something about talking to the doctor and coffee before Soobin closed the door behind his back. Beomgyu sat on the bed, throat sore and head light and tilted up, more interested in the ceiling than Taehyun, who was nervously fidgeting in his seat beside Beomgyu’s bed.

“I love you”.

Beomgyu froze as his eyes fell back onto Taehyun’s, his mind going blank as he tried to register the three words that came out of Taehyun’s lips, his knuckles turned white because of how he was tightly gripping the bedsheet, mouth forming the small shape of ‘o’ and eyes widening in disbelief. Taehyun seemed to be nervous and anxious, eyes downcast and bottom lip quivering as he played with the hem of his shirt.

Beomgyu made a noise at the back of his throat, then cleared his throat in attempt to brush away his lame action. The words Beomgyu wanted to say died in his throat, and it took him a couple of seconds to gather his thoughts, eyes flickering to Taehyun’s face and to the end of the bed he was on. Beomgyu felt his heart hammering hard against his ribs while his palms started to sweat.

“Are you- are you sure?” Beomgyu asked, awkwardly chuckling while running a hand through his hair and looking at Taehyun helplessly. “Because goddammit, I’m in love with you, Taehyun. That was the reason I won’t take the surgery; you can’t just take someone’s feelings away that easily”. 

Taehyun sat up straight on his seat, feet digging on the floor as if the world was going to take him away from his place, his heart pounding loud enough to hear it in his ears. “Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“You think its easy?” Beomgyu hissed, eyebrows furrowing together as he looked away. “Humans are a mess of insecurities, Taehyun, and we happened to be one of them. I couldn’t just walk up to you and confess my feelings that I’ve kept to myself for so long. Its- its not easy. Its fucking nerve wrecking, Taehyun”.

Taehyun actually looked like he was about to cry, and Beomgyu might actually cry too, from all this pent-up frustration inside him. Everything was too overwhelming; he felt like now was the right time for the ground to sink him in.

“I’m in love with you”, Beomgyu sighed with his shoulders slumped as a sign of surrendering, looking down on his clenched fists on his lap when he felt tears burning in his eyes. “And it hurts because every day, the thought of you not loving me back was eating me alive, until I could no longer breathe- until throwing up these goddamn petals became the only reminder to me that I’m alive and my heart is still beating.”

“It was quite pathetic, actually, because every day, the more I fall for you, the more I get worse. The more these petals consume my body; I feel sorry for Hueningkai because he had to stay up all night and clean up all the petals that I puked”.

Beomgyu took a shaky breath, meeting Taehyun’s watery eyes. “Are you really sure that you love me?”

Taehyun opened his mouth, only to close them again as he leaned forward that had Beomgyu’s breath getting caught up in his throat. 

Then Taehyun shyly took Beomgyu’s wrist, slipping it down until Beomgyu relaxed his hands and their fingers intertwined. It made Beomgyu breathless as he got lost in Taehyun’s eyes, and the younger was giving him a small smile that was so full of hope that melted his heart.

“It won’t hurt to try, right?” Taehyun asked, looking at their hands and then shyly looking back at Beomgyu. “to fall in love with you, I mean”.

Beomgyu snorted, squeezing Taehyun’s hand that made the latter squeak in surprise. He rolled his eyes. “I’m not a monster, idiot”.

Suddenly, Beomgyu started to cough, gripping Taehyun’s hands tightly, and Taehyun immediately jumped to pat the elder’s back in worry, yelling for the doctor or nurse to come and help them. Then a complete flower of red camellia climbed up in Beomgyu’s throat and out of Beomgyu’s mouth, and his lips tightened around the stem. Taehyun had stared back in awe, slowly sitting back on the chair.

“Guess- guess its gone?”

Beomgyu shrugged as he took the flower from his mouth, massaging his throat in pain. “Guess so, I don’t know. You want the flower?”

A couple seconds passed when Taehyun threw back his head and laughed in amusement, as he leaned and pressed his lips against Beomgyu’s, catching the elder off guard, a shy smile made its way onto Taehyun’s lips, and Beomgyu was ducking his head as the tips of his ears reddened. He was glad that Yeonjun, nor the doctors were there.

“Want what? The flower? Hyung that’s so gross, you just puked it out of your mouth, no thanks”, Beomgyu snorted, hearing Taehyun’s amused voice. Taehyun continued, “Want you? Yeah.Totally”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end!   
> finally, this fic came to an end! thanks to all of you who stayed till the end, thank you and love you guys a lot! hope this ending satisfies you, as I've taken the idea from one of the comments only ;)  
> exams are nearing, so you won't get any new fic updates from me but after the exams are over, will start writing a fic with an AMAZING plot I have in mind so please support me till then!  
> Bye! ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is another taegyu fanfic im working on, and trust me, its going to be longer. And worse. And better.  
> Anyways im ranting so its time for me to say goodbye and don’t forget to leave kudos if you like my work and comment anything if you want! Bye my loves!


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